I have a hilariously large number of unresolved issues that surface when I drink too much. Kudos to DrinkAid for keeping my demons at bay.

 

The early 2020s would live on in infamy because a pesky bug had pretty much claimed two precious years of our lives (and for some of us, our youth). 

So with restrictions lifted, and bars and nightclubs springing back to life, wouldn't it be great if you could throw caution to the wind and be two years younger again just for that one night? Wouldn't it be great to drop your usual air of respectability, have a few pitchers of mimosas or liquor and enjoy that good state buzz? 

 

Alas, the sobering, head-throbbing hangover

reminds you, "sorry honey, you aren't in your early twenties no more". You soon realise your alcohol tolerance and hangovers get worse as you age. And while the enlightened folks today "don't see colour or gender", research subjects of Asian descent, and women, tend to experience more intense hangovers.

 

 

And congratulations if you have some East Asian ancestry, because there is a 40% change you would experience a hot alcohol-induced flush on your face and neck. Your body is having trouble breaking down a substance called acetaldehyde (produced when you drink) which causes more nausea, heart palpitations and possibly adverse health consequences.

That's why many are turning to recent innovations in biochemistry for a fix. The most popular off-the-counter solution in the market today is the so-called "hangover pill" or "alcohol defence pill". 

 

 

Many of my friends who drink much more than I do swear by DrinkAid pills. They work by reducing acetaldehyde in your body, and also contain vitamins and herbs that supposedly improve your body's recovery from the alcohol. 

The big question is: do these pills work?

 

Consider me your lab rat. 

So far there's been only anecdotal, isolated accounts of people who recommend these pills because they took them once and "felt better than usual". How would we know if they simply drank less alcohol on the fateful day they tried these pills?

A better test would be if there had been a "control day" of heroic drinking without the pills, and a "test day" of equally foolish guzzling with the recommended dosage of these pills. Provided that your lab rat does not die on the first day, we'll have clearer data on the extent of these pills' efficacy.

 

 

I have been given four DrinkAid pills and two days of drinking to write my review of DrinkAid's pills. I will drink the same amount of alcohol on the Day 1 and Day 2 and keep a diary of my experiences. To establish a baseline, I will not be using DrinkAid's pills on the Day 1, and will only use the pills on Day 2.  

 

How much is too much?

"Please exercise moderation when you drink", a disclaimer on DrinkAid's box read. According to the US CDC (Centers For Disease Control and Prevention), binge drinking is defined consuming 5 or more drinks within two hours for men, or 4 or more drinks within two hours for women. 

But let's be real – nobody abides by doctor's advice on nights they want to get turnt up.

So I did some asking around. How much do people drink when they drink too much? Based on a survey with 5 friends, "an entire bottle of wine" or "7 to 8 alcoholic cocktails" is the usual girls' night out quota. Some folks say "6-7 pints of beer". Another gave me "8 shots of vodka/whisky in 2 hours, and I'll reliably Merlion everywhere".

Got it. For this experiment, I will do 8 strong drinks in 2 hours. 

 

 

I'm committed to mimicking the drinking habits of most people down to club or party, so I will begin each session with a light meal in the early evening and nothing else. I will then drink undiluted 30ml shots of whisky, rum or vodka at about 45-50% ABV in 15-minute intervals within a 2-hour window, which adds up to 8 drams of neat liquor. I'll even pause for some exercise for about 10 minutes to simulate some physical activity on the dancefloor (but mostly because I really need to catch a break from alcohol). 

For your reference, I am a 28-year-old Asian cisgender male who weighs about 65 kg (or 143 lbs).

 

From Composed to Comatose  

In my drinking diaries, I will refer to the 6 stages of intoxication described by a doctor I know: Composed, Jocose, Verbose, Grandiose, Morose and Comatose (also known as Adios):–

Stage 1: Composed ▢ – You pass off as sober.

• Clear-headed
• Feelings of contentment and happiness
• Unlikely to seem intoxicated

Stage 2: Jocose ▢ – Things seem more amusing or funnier.

• Loss of some inhibition
• Lightly impaired judgment and reaction time
• You're having a good time
• You're more fun to be around

Stage 3: Verbose ▢ – You talk more.

• Pleasurable buzz
• Loss of most social inhibitions
• Unfounded sense of confidence
• You seem more entertaining to yourself

Stage 4: Grandiose ▢ – You're the smartest person in the room.

• Walking along a straight line takes more effort yet
• Even more unfounded confidence
• Nausea and drowsiness
• You may still be enjoyable company but you're turning narcissistic

Stage 5: Morose (or Bellicose) ▢ – Things are clearly unpleasant now. 

• Emotional instability and loss of judgement
• Loss of bodily balance
• Significant nausea, urge to throw up
• You get all sentimental (Morose)
• You get cranky and mean (Bellicose)

Stage 6: Comatose ▢ – Drunk, confused and incapable. 

• You experience blackouts or parcels of lost time
• You throw up
• You pass out
• Adios if you're riding or driving a vehicle

(Spear, 2018) 

  

Day 1 – No aid

 

 

4:30 pm – Light Meal – Stage 0

I am moderately hydrated and completely sober. I eat some pork chops and peas, and then head to the nearby whisky bar.

 

  

5:01 pm – First Drink – Stage 1: Composed ▢

Just remembered I shouldn't be driving, whoops! 

I beg my sober friend to chauffeur me to the bar, and we made it as it just opened for the evening. I order 4 drams of single malt (30ml each) which I will proceed to throw down in 15-minute intervals. I share my plan with the bartender who laughs uncomfortably and glances at the mop ominously.

I begin with a Clynelish 14. Good whisky. Nothing to report yet.

 

 

5:15 pm – Second Drink – Stage 1: Composed ▢

My timer rings and it's time to finish the BenRiach Cask Strength Batch 2. Within minutes of emptying the glass I start feeling a warm sensation on my face and neck. I can taste the lovely maltiness and red fruits in the Benriach, although a bit too spicy and tannic for my liking.

My psychomotor function is fine and I'm still going strong. I don't feel anything else.

 

5:30 pm – Third Drink – Stage 2: Jocose ▢

The Jura 12 goes down incredibly easily. I recall finding this really clean, smooth with mostly notes of caramel and very mild notes of espresso and nuts. Could have been a little more complex, but otherwise this is a friendly daily sipper that could help get you high quickly. No disrespect to the great stuff from Jura Distillery.

At this point I'm beginning to enjoy swaying stupidly, left, right, to the R&B music. My sober buddy says something about her mortgage payments and expensive childcare. I laugh at her responsibilities. I'm still counting on her to send me home.

  

 

5:45 pm – Fourth Drink – Stage 3.5: Verbose/Grandiose ▢

The Springbank is great. (But I can't remember how it tastes. Read its review written on another occasion here if you're interested.)

I reach for a glass of water and spill some on my shirt. Getting slightly unsteady here, but I'm convinced I still have my wits about myself. Apparently I start blabbering about the US Supreme Court's overruling of Roe v. Wade and its implications on racial minorities, not realising that I am neither American, black nor have a uterus.

I'm feeling some bloated-ness and begin burping. Then, I insist we leave the bar and pay our respects at the nearby Civilian War Memorial because I've never gotten the opportunity to do so.

 

 

I make it home almost in time for the next item. Kudos to my chauffeur.

 

6:03 pm – Break – Rope Skipping – Stage 4: Grandiose ▢

I'm a little nauseous. Normally I would question my life decisions but I'm weirdly confident and motivated to exercise in this condition. I spend a good 10 minutes skipping rope.

 

 

6:15 pm – Fifth Drink – Stage 4.5: Grandiose/Morose ▢

No rest for the weary! Once done with my simulated dancing, I stagger into my room and pour myself another shot. It doesn't really matter what I'm poisoning myself with at this point. I gulp the liquor down.

In minutes I find myself, headed tilted to one side, absorbed in the Rothko painting on my wall. Soft rectangle forms on stained fields of colour. The bright streak of electric blue appears to be resisting the looming cloud of rust from the top and the lonely depths of blue at the bottom, forming an anxious but hopeful "inner light". Are you seeing what I'm seeing? 

I might have stood in a daze for about 10 minutes.

 

Walking along a straight line is rather difficult now, but still manageable. I'm beginning to lose my balance. My head now feels like it's floating about as I walk around.

 

6:30 pm – Sixth Drink – Stage 4.5: Grandiose/Morose ▢

Drinking is no longer pleasant now as I force myself to swallow another dram of cheap whisky. I knock my shin against the coffee table but the pain feels very "far away". 

Everything feels like it's on autopilot and I need to piss. Walking down the stairs in this condition feels rather risky yet I do not feel any fear... 

 

 

6:45 pm – Seventh Drink – Stage 5: Morose ▢

Drinking never felt so much like torture! I burp painfully and empty the bourbon in my glass, barely tasting the alcohol. 

Even lying on the hardwood floor feels nice. But I get up to continue documenting my experience. The right keys keep eluding me but I keep pushing.

Right now, I cannot walk in a straight line without stumbling, and I cannot feel the weight of my body. I compulsively lean to the left... and then to the right. I'm also incredibly nauseous and can throw up any time.

 

 

I become strangely neurotic. I'm looking at gifts from bygone relationships. I'm unable to stop thinking about “could have beens”. I also feel immense guilt towards my cat for being a poor owner who could not spare 30 minutes of play time every day as recommended by the vets. Seriously, I am so depressed. 

 

 

7:00 pm – Eighth Drink – Stage 5.5: Morose / Near Comatose ▢

Final drink - done and dusted. 

I am quite confused by the computer and spend some time searching for the word processor to type my notes: 

"how can alcoohol be legal?" 

"i mght have druk more thjan 8 it’s difficult to keep track"

I receive a phone call from my sister asking what's for dinner at home. Barely holding it together, I tell her "no problem."

 

7:15 pm – Stage 6: Near Comatose ▢

 

 

It's been 15 minutes since my last drink and I feel higher than a long-necked Brachiosaurus. I practically stagger around, barely able to keep my balance. I hide in my room, paranoid, embarrassed of being seen by my family in this delirious state.

As I am unbearably nauseous, I open my window.

"yes i feel like vomitting but i wont"

"hiw the hell can these ppuills solve this?" 

  

7:41 pm – Stage 6: Near Comatose ▢

I stumble to the washroom and throw up. I just feel awfully drowsy. 

 

  

End of Day 1: Near Comatose ▢ (Stage 6 / 6)

 

By 8.15, I have given up attempts to review my assortment of Regretful Cupcakes, Confusion Cookies and Mournful Macaroons. I learnt that 8 shots of liquor in 2 hours was enough to give me a ton of nausea and put me in a confused and emotionally disturbed state. I also learnt that I'm what they call a "Sad Drunk".

I went to sleep, desperately trying to process the alcohol and to start feeling better. 

6 hours did the trick. I woke at 3 am and felt almost completely fine, save for a slight migraine similar to a low fever. Surprisingly, I did not get much of a hangover.

 

 

Day 2 – DrinkAid

As I feel fully recovered from yesterday's evening of heavy drinking without much of a hangover, I decided to give it another go with the use of DrinkAid after 24 hours. Don't tell my insurer.

 

 

4:30 pm – Light Meal and DrinkAid Pills – Stage 0

I grab two slices of Little Caesars' pepperoni pizza.

For best results, DrinkAid recommends taking two pills about 15 minutes before drinking, and another two pills after the last drink.

I waited till 4.45 pm. Then I open a sachet and swallow two pills with 100 ml of water.

 

  

5:00 pm – First Drink – Stage 1: Composed ▢

I pour my first shot of the day, measured with a 30ml jigger. This one's a blended Black & White scotch. There's pretty much nothing to report except for the taste, which was a little too plain for my liking.

Kanpai. 

 

 

5:15 pm – Second Drink – Stage 1: Composed ▢

I pour my second shot. I decide to go with a Worthy Park Jamaican rum this time. When you've been drinking so frequently and alcohol begins to repulse you, it's important to go for the better stuff. 

This is some heavy stuff at 58%. My face begins to feel a mild, pleasant warmth – just like I did when I had my second drink on the Day 1. Mentally I'm fine. No buzz, no impairment.

I decide to put on some music and do some light reading.

 

 

5:30 pm – Third Drink – Stage 1: Composed ▢

After my third round I feel pretty much the same as before. I play the Wordle of the day to show myself I am still mentally capable. 

I do feel myself enjoying the music a bit more. 

 

  

5:45 pm – Fourth Drink – Stage 2: Jocose ▢

After my fourth drink I become less concerned being seen dancing by the window. My mind remains clear, and my balance is fine. I can manage walking a straight line, heel to toe.

 

5:48 pm – Break – Brief Hike – Stage 2: Jocose ▢

I receive a spontaneous invitation to go for a run by my house. My next drink is scheduled at 6:15 pm. But I agree to do it.

 

 

Is it advisable to run while intoxicated?

I burp freely and atrociously to the dismay of passers-by. I'm beginning to feel a pleasant alcoholic buzz. For the most part of it, my body is handling the drinks rather well and I feel no more tipsy than if I were to have one drink on a regular day.

 

6:15 pm – Fifth Drink – Stage 3: Verbose ▢

I get home just in time for the fifth drink, which I promptly gulped down. All this drinking is making me bloated, but I'm still far from vomit territory.

 

6:30 pm – Sixth Drink – Stage 3: Verbose ▢

Distant relatives are visiting tonight. I speak to them without changing out of my boxers.

And while I am usually withdrawn and reserved, I find myself emboldened to ask my prudish aunts about their personal lives.  

 

6:45 pm – Seventh Drink – Stage 3: Verbose ▢

I sip on my seventh drink while bobbing to Harry Styles' latest single.

By this point, I am pretty sure that the DrinkAid pills do work. I was a sentimental mess at 6:45 pm the previous night. Right now, I am 7 drinks in just more talkative.

     I certainly feel an urge to dance but I'm not nearly as high as Mads here.

 

7.00 pm – Eighth Drink – Stage 3: Verbose ▢

I'm practically forcing myself to drink an eighth glass of vodka. I'm feeling a little nauseous and sleepy. 

But it's official – these pills do work. I can play the guitar. I can negotiate the stairs. I am not crying over my ex-girlfriends.

And while the body shows some clumsiness and slowness, the mind remains strangely alert and composed. 

 

7.05 pm – DrinkAid Pills – Stage 3: Verbose ▢

Since I have drunk my last drink, I popped another two pills as recommended.

 

7.30 pm – Stage 3.5: Verbose/Grandiose ▢

My head feels "floaty" as I walk about. Walking in a straight line requires more effort now, but is still manageable.  

 

8.30 pm – Stage 4: Grandiose ▢

I feel lightheaded but comfortable and content. I spend several minutes staring blissfully into another wall painting, pausing at times to let out a potent burp. I even join the relatives for a game of mahjong.

 

 

End of Day 2: Grandiose ▢ (Stage 4 / 6)

 

 Me, higher than a kite.

 

Day 2 was obviously more boring and uneventful. 

Following my final drink at 7pm, my tipsiness rose somewhat and maintained its level for the next couple of hours. I remained awake and played several rounds of board games before turning in around 12 midnight.

I sleep restfully and woke around 6am without any headache whatsoever, although my tummy continues to feel bloated from last night's drinking.

 

The Verdict

With a "control day" of drinking without the pills, and a "test day" with the pills, the verdict is clear.

The pills work! 

	Day 1 (without pills)	Day 2 (with DrinkAid)
4:30 pm	Stage 0	Stage 0
5:00 pm – 1st Drink	Stage 1: Composed	Stage 1: Composed
5:15 pm – 2nd Drink	Stage 1: Composed	Stage 1: Composed
5:30 pm – 3rd Drink	Stage 2: Jocose	Stage 1: Composed
5:45 pm – 4th Drink	Stage 3.5: Verbose to Grandiose	Stage 2: Jocose
6:00 pm	Stage 4: Grandiose	Stage 2: Jocose
6:15 pm – 5th Drink	Stage 4.5: Grandiose to Morose	Stage 3: Verbose
6:30 pm – 6th Drink	Stage 4.5: Grandiose to Morose	Stage 3: Verbose
6:45 pm – 7th Drink	Stage 5: Morose	Stage 3: Verbose
7:00 pm – 8th Drink	Stage 5.5: Morose to Comatose	Stage 3: Verbose
7:15 pm	Stage 6: Near Comatose	Stage 3: Verbose
7:30 pm	Stage 6: Near Comatose	Stage 3.5: Verbose to Grandiose
8:00 pm	Stage 6: Actually Comatose	Stage 4: Grandiose

 

Taking DrinkAid seems to reduce my level of intoxication by about half. On the pills, it will probably take twice as long (and twice as much alcohol) for me to reach the same degree of drunken stupor as Day 1. I certainly did not get any residual hangover the following morning either. 

Even on the pills, I do eventually experience the pleasant alcoholic buzz (sometime after 3-4 drinks), which is probably a good thing since most people do enjoy the good vibes, the carefree and disinhibited state that come with alcohol. I am fine with that mild stimulative state, so long as my intoxication does not reach dangerous levels (anything Stage 5 and above).  

The most painful parts of heavy drinking might be a thing of the past. It seems that I can get away with one night of heavy drinking without too much nausea and without having to throw up. Another plus is that I won't get mood swings or become a sentimental fool. Seeing as I have a hilariously large number of unresolved issues in my psyche that surface when I drink too much, I appreciate DrinkAid for keeping my demons at bay. At least until I can afford to pay for a therapist.

 

 

 

@CharsiuCharlie